GPOY + skin care tips + thoughts on compartmentalization

So. I am sitting in a Caribou Coffee in the heart of Washington DC on the corner of M and 15th streets. People watching. Tumblring. Tweeting. Being a hipster with my sparkling green tea lemonade and Macbook Air, listening to Lana del Ray’s Born To Die album.

Not a whole lot of makeup this morning (surprising right?) because my skin is doing fantastic. Lately it’s been so good all I do is put straight blush on me cheeks - no need for skin powder. What do I use? I alternate between using Dark Angels scrub by Lush, Fresh Farmacy bar soap by Lush, and Creme Mousse Confort creamy moisturizing cleanser by Lancome.

This is going to sound SUPER WEIRD but I only wash my face with one the aforementioned cleansers twice a week. All other mornings/nights I just rinse with water and use eye makeup remover if necessary. Why? I heard once that the natural oils in our skin regulate our skin’s health on their own, and if we constantly bombard our skin with chemical (or even natural) cleansers it makes it go out of balance - so it over produces oil or under produces oil. It took a while for my skin to balance out after I started washing only twice a week, but now I rarely get acne - and if you knew me 4 years ago, you’d know I had huge painful pimples on my cheeks and nose and forehead. It was bad. So try it out, folks, if you’re up for it. Wash it only twice a week, and make sure you use a scrub one of those times.

ANYWAY.

On to things that matter more! I was thinking about compartmentalization and how we tend to separate aspects of peoples’ personalities in order to accept them.

Wutdaphuk? Let’s flesh this out. It’s something I was thinking about on my journey to DC. Sitting next to this super awesome stranger who was getting his M.A. in Eastern African History, we had hours to discuss what it means to be critical thinkers in our status quo, given the political and social issues in 2012.

For example - Chris Brown. Homeboy is a talented singer/rapper/entertainer who, in 2009, beat the living hell out of Rihanna (his then girlfriend). This caused a multitude of reactions - including disappointment in Rihanna for collaborating with him later on her Birthday Cake track.  The thing about the whole ordeal (besides the horrendous violence) that stuck out to me the most was the fact that many (not all) radio stations and talk show hosts emphasized the fact that his music career shouldn’t suffer as a result of ‘things he has done in his personal life’ — referring to that domestic violence incident with Rihanna.

WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK

So it’s okay to support a sick bastard who does this to his girlfriend because she accused him of cheating on her? “Let’s forget about his violent psychotic nature and just dance along to his music. It’s totally fine. His violence has nothing to do with his music.”

That doesn’t work for me. Sorry.

Another example - Willard ‘Mitt’ Romney. He’s worth more than the last 8 presidents combined and doubled. I don’t think it’s right for him to claim he can relate to the average American and put on a whole act about it. I don’t think corporations businessmen should have anything to do with how a government rules its people. I’d prefer a lawyer who, OH I DON’T KNOW, understands the laws of our land instead of someone who has money and claims that because he has a large family and Christian values, it somehow equates to him being able to run a country. 

First of all, that doesn’t even make any goddamn sense. I care about how you treat your family, yes, but don’t forget that you are 0.00001% of America, brah. Don’t act like we should compartmentalize and forget that you don’t know what it’s like to feel the weight of student loans or joblessness or worrying about feeding your family. You will never know what that feels like. And while I have no problem with you having money, Mr. Romney, I do have a problem with you falsely claiming you know what it’s like to be one of us. Please let me know what it’s like once you step in my shoes for a week - student loans, working two jobs at 50-70 hours a week, barely making ends meet, having a bachelor’s degree in an economy that blows, and going back to school this fall. So fuck you, brah. Don’t ever dare say you know what the HELL it’s like to be me or represent me when you want to limit my reproductive rights and raise interest on my loans or impose your need for a better ‘Christian nation’. Just because you have a family and are religious doesn’t imply you have all the right intentions for our nation. I really don’t think you do.

And yet there it is - compartmentalization - forget the other facets of these people and focus on the things you want to focus on. It’s like a relationship with a bad lover - s/he is a terrible human being but because you love him/her, you’ll turn a blind eye to their glaringly disturbing flaws and just accept them.

At what point do we draw a line and say no? I’m not perfect. Hell no. But I think when it comes to accountability and leadership and representation, I do believe in taking a spaghetti approach instead of a waffle one.

Spaghetti approach - everything is mixed in and intertwined and it is impossible and pointless to separate every piece before eating. You don’t do that. You stick your fork in, swirl, and nom the hell out of that goodness. One bite has every ingredient in it. You take it all in. 

Waffle approach - you have little boxes and you could, really, put a different syrup or additive in each little box and nothing will ever mix. All your toppings could, essentially, never touch. You could enjoy a bite with nutella and later enjoy one with syrup. Nothing would ever mix, and you’d keep it all separate and consume as desired. You’d pick and choose what you’d like to eat and if there was something gross you could avoid it. It would never become part of your experience with the waffle if you just push it out of the way.

I think accountability is very relevant for the here and now - especially since politicians have become celebrities. Our current President is not innocent of this either, although I do think he has the potential to be a great leader (honestly though, Mister Pres - get in there and fuck shit up. Put your foot down. Stop playing games by trying to appease the GOP. Lay the smack down these next four years — we need you to. Desperately.)

So going full circle - what’s a deal breaker? Well I think domestic violence crosses you out of my good books. So does faking your relatability to the public (I know that’s not a real word but fuck you). And what about friendships? Is forgiveness something we should practice — to an extent? I think forgiveness is necessary in some cases, but not all. I’m not going to forgive people who have damaged the hell out of other peoples’ lives and only apologize out of some lackluster motivation to go through the motions in order for things to not change. That’s just BS, and heartfelt apologies are usually extremely different from forced ones. So whatevs.

So - should we do it? Should we think of people as merely their one identity and forget all others and value them for just that one chosen facet? Should you respect a man if he sucks at being a parent and beats the shit out of his kids but is a great philanthropist? Should you be friends with an individual who constantly cheats on his/her significant other but is a great friend?

I think maybe this leads to an ethical standard we hold others and ourselves to - and perhaps the spaghetti approach can hurt, but shouldn’t we all strive to be well rounded and full of inherent/good intentions? I wouldn’t want my future kid to think I am a crappy parent because I am great at my job and pay him/her no attention whilst busying most of my free time with work.

Perhaps there’s a balance. Given the fact I  really cannot compartmentalize, I don’t expect others to in regards to sizing me up. I can only hope to not disappoint, right?